“Beaches, A New Musical” opened tonight at Broadway’s Majestic Theater thirty-eight years after the movie “Beaches” left critics largely unimpressed (“a movie completely constructed… out of cliches,”  Roger Ebert wrote), but won over the public, with its story of a lifelong, loving friendship between two women, Cee Cee and her polar opposite Hillary (portrayed by Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey.) It’s possible that the stage version (starring Jessica Vosk and Kelli Barrett) will also find its audience. But it’s hard to see why we needed it.  

The 1988 movie was a box office hit, grossing three times what it cost to make, because audiences were drawn to 1. Bette Midler,  2. the song she sings at the end, “Wind Beneath My Wings” which won two Grammys and reached #1 on the US Billboard Hot 100, and 3. The emotions exhibited and solicited, especially for its “Love Story”-inspired tragic ending.

The movie was an adaptation by screenwriter Mary Agnes Donoghue and director Garry Marshall of the 1985 bestselling novel of the same name written by Iris Rainer Dart, a former writer for the “Sonny and Cher Show” who has said she modeled her fictional story partly on Cher and on her own life. Years later, Dart decided to do her own adaptation of her novel, this time as a musical. “Beaches, A New Musical,” despite its title, was first presented a dozen years ago in a regional theater, with Dart writing the lyrics and co-writing both the book and the score. Subsequent productions replaced the score with one now composed by Mike Stoller, with whom Dart had collaborated in “The People in the Picture,” a musical that ran for two months in 2011 that marked her Broadway debut as a lyricist and librettist. Stoller co-wrote such enduring hits as “Hound Dog,” “Jailhouse Rock,” “Stand By Me” and “On Broadway.”  He is now 93; Dart is 82.

Some two dozen musical numbers in “Beaches, A New Musical” tell more or less the same story as the movie, although many details are altered: Hillary Whitney in the movie is renamed Bertie White (which was her original name in the book.) There is more emphasis on the show business career of Cee Cee Bloom, and her performances are more elaborate. An extra angle has been added to the love triangle that causes a rift in Cee Cee and Bertie’s friendship. Most of the narrative changes will register only with die-hard fans (or recent viewers) of the movie, because the emotional journey is basically the same.The most obvious changes are in the staging. Cee Cee and Bertie are each portrayed by three different actors — as children, as teenagers, and as adults — appearing not just in separate scenes but sometimes on stage at the same time.

The creative team clearly wants to make “Beaches, A New Musical” seem different but also familiar. It probably won’t surprise anyone that the show ends with Vosk as Cee Cee singing “Wind Beneath My Wings,” the one song not written by Mike Stoller. (indeed, it would probably surprise theatergoers if that song were not included.) Vosk is a talented Broadway veteran, and she’s a vibrant, playful Cee Cee. But she’s not Bette Midler. Mike Stoller is a legendary songsmith, but none of his songs in this score are anywhere near as memorable as the handful that Midler sung in the movie — not just “Wind Beneath My Wings,” but such standards as “Under the Boardwalk.” There is little here that feels an improvement on the movie, and several aspects that feel like a downgrade. The costumes for Cee Cee are garish; the set design is chintzy and predictable. I’ll admit to a W.C. Fields-like aversion to cloying child characters, but it’s worse when the lines and lyrics they’re given ring false:

The friendship between Cee Cee Bloom and Bertie White begins when as children they meet on the beach at Atlantic City in 1951. They couldn’t be more unalike in upbringing or attitude.  In the song “Mother Said,” Little Bertie (nine-year-old Zeya Grace) sings of how her strict, upper-class mother loves formal teas, but she prefers searching for seashells on the beach, which is “a paltry substitute” for swimming.

Staying dry, makes me cry but, quixotically,
I dream some day, I’ll swim away,
From mother’s rules,
And I’ll be free.

Little Cee Cee (10-year-old Samantha Schwartz)  talks like a veteran vaudevillian, calling Little Bertie “toots” and demanding that she accompany her to see her perform in Jerry Grey Stars of Tomorrow: “I’m the headliner. I sing, tell jokes I steal from stand up comics, and then, this’ll kill ya. I end up by droppin’ into a big split. I can’t show ya here ‘cause you do a split on the beach ya get sand in your crotch.”

“What’s a crotch?” Little Bertie asks.

So, to recap:  Nine-year-old Bertie uses words like “paltry” and “quixotically” but doesn’t know what “crotch” means?

The cartoonish contrast between the savvy Cee Cee and the unworldly Bertie continues even when they’re adults. Thirteen years after that first meeting, having corresponded steadily in the interim, Bertie shows up at a summer theater where Cee Cee is performing in a dog costume, telling her she had called off the wedding that her mother had wanted for her, and she moved out.  Cee Cee invites her to move in with her.  She does so, and regrets it.

BERTIE: Maybe it was a mistake for me to come here. All of those bohemian types out there. Do you suppose any of them are snorting marijuana?
CEE CEE: I can guarantee you, nobody here is snorting marijuana.
BERTIE: Do you think some of them are engaging in pre-marital you-know-what.
CEE CEE: Oh, I’m sure a lot of them are. Maybe even as we speak.
BERTIE: Really? Like who?
CEE CEE: Well for starters, Greg and Larry.
BERTIE: And?
CEE CEE: And what?
BERTIE: You didn’t mention any girls.
CEE CEE: That’s because there are no girls involved.
BERTIE: Greg and Larry? How do they do it?
CEE CEE: Probably with big smiles on their faces.

This exchange strains mightily to be hip and witty; it doesn’t even try to be believable.

Beaches
Majestic Theater through September 6
Running time: Two and a half hours, including intermission
Tickets: $54 – $311
Book by Iris Rainer Dart and Thom Thomas; Music by Mike Stoller; Lyrics by Iris Rainer Dart;
Based on the novel by Iris Rainer Dart
Directed by Lonny Price and Matt Cowart; Choreographed by Jennifer Rias; 
Scenic Design by James Noone; Costume Design by Tracy Christensen; Lighting Design by Ken Billington; Sound Design by Kai Harada; Video Design by David Bengali; Hair and Wig Design and make-up design by J. Jared Janas
Cast: Jessica Vosk as Cee Cee Bloom, Kelli Barrett as Bertie White, Sarah Bockel, Harper Burns, Eric Coles, Taylor Sage Evans, Mia Gerachis, Zeya Grace, Joelle Gully,Ben Jacoby,StephanieMartignetti, Emma Ogea, Olive Ross-Kline, Bailey Ryon, Paul Adam Schaefer, SamanthaSchwartz,Brent Thiessen,Lael Van Keuren, and Zurin Villanuev