“It’s a song that I wrote about coming out of lockdown, with some much needed optimism,” Mick Jagger announced today in a statement about his new pandemic anthem, Easy Sleazy. “Thanks to Dave Grohl for jumping on drums, bass and guitar. It was a lot of fun working with him.”

The lyrics don’t start off sounding optimistic, what with talk of grim numbers (“Looking at the graphs with a magnifying glass,” perhaps obliquely acknowledging that he’s 77 years old) as well as being stuck on Zoom, “tik tok stupid dance,” watching too much TV, and, perhaps worst of all for him: “I’ve got nothing left to wear.” But it ends promising “We’re all headed back to paradise” and “It’ll be a memory you’re trying to remember to forget”

We took it on the chin
The numbers were so grim
Bossed around by pricks
Stiffen upper lips
Pacing in the yard
You’re trying to take the mick
You must think i’m really thick

Looking at the graphs with a magnifying glass
Cancel all the tours footballs fake applause
No more travel brochures
Virtual premieres
I’ve got nothing left to wear

Looking out from these prison walls
You got to rob peter if you’re paying paul
But it’s easy easy everything’s gonna get really freaky
Alright on the night
Soon it ll be be a memory you’re trying to remember to forget

That’s a pretty mask
But never take a chance tik tok stupid dance
Took a samba class i landed on my ass
Trying to write a tune you better hook me up to zoom
See my poncey books teach myself to cook
Way too much tv its lobotomising me
Think ive put on weight
I’ll have another drink then I’ll clean the kitchen sink

We escaped from the prison walls
Open the windows and open the doors
But it’s easy easy
Everything s gonna get really freaky
Alright on the night
Its gonna be a garden of earthly delights
Easy sleazy its gonna be smooth and greasy
Yeah easy believe me
It’ll only be a memory you’re trying to remember
To forget

Shooting the vaccine bill gates is in my bloodstream
It’s mind control
The earth is flat and cold it’s never warming up
The arctics turned to slush
The second comings late
There’s aliens in the deep state

We’ll escape from these prison walls
Now we’re out of these prison walls
You gotta pay peter if you’re robbing paul
But it’s easy easy everything is gonna be really freaky
Alright on the night
We’re all headed back to paradise
Yeah easy believe me
It’ll be a memory you’re trying to remember to forget
Easy cheesy everyone sing please please me
It’ll be a memory you’re trying to remember to forget