I’m SICK of sports metaphors in election coverage: slam dunk,Hail Mary, ground game. So I asked for suggestions for theater metaphors instead — and got enough to fill a musical!

Campaign 2012 has felt longer than the preview period for Spider-Man.

The curtain is about to go up on one of the most dramatic events of the century. Who will get the applause?

When the show is over tonight, who will get the top billing? We’ll have to wait for the curtain call.

We’ll take you backstage at the campaigns tonight as they exit, pursued by a bear.

Breaking: Exit polls, pursued by a bear

This is Ohio’s Hamlet moment. Will it result in a bloodbath?

There will be a liberal Pinter pause if Ohio is called for Romney tonight.

If Romney wins Ohio, I’ll be singing Why Oh Why Ohio, from Wonderful Town!

Election Day feels like one long Tech.

We’re waiting for definitive results from Ohio. As for Florida, we’re probably Waiting for Godot

Let’s hope there’s no recount. This show doesn’t deserve an encore.

Other useful metaphors: showstopper, closing night, opening night, 11 o’clock number, Big finish.

Contributions and inspiration from:

Ash ‏@Ashley_Says

Benny Jennett ‏@bennyjennett

Jacqueline T. Lynch ‏(@JacqTLynch)

Jenna Stern (@JennaStern)

Karen Wilson (@akaKarenWilson)

Mario Correa (‏@mariosity)

Scott Kane ‏(@scottkaneSF)

Taylor Reynolds ‏(@taykreynolds)